Confronting Unresolved Issues from Your Past: Midlife is a Natural Time of Reflection
As we enter our 40s and 50s, we naturally look back and reflect on the many choices we have made for our lives so far, see where we’ve been, and look ahead to where we want to go. During this “life review,” unresolved issues or regrets from our past tend to surface, and we find ourselves grappling with many questions and sometimes regrets.
“Why did I make that choice in my 20s? If only I hadn’t done that.”
“Did I make the right choice to choose this career path?”
“I’m the reason I always get taken advantage of; I am the only constant in the pattern.”
“If I never address the problems that continue to rise, they will forever haunt me.”
Midlife Reflection – An Opportunity for Change
This natural process of midlife reflection presents an opportunity to confront parts of our past that still trouble us today. While it can be difficult, addressing our regrets and painful experiences can help us gain perspective, find inner peace, and move into the future with wisdom and a game plan so we don’t continue to make past mistakes.
Research shows that making sense and finding meaning in our past choices and life stories has significant psychological and physical health benefits. Though confronting these past choices may bring up difficult emotions, the potential for healing and growth is well worth the discomfort. Finding closure for past regrets and rewriting the way forward is never too late.
Practical Tools for Self-Assessment
Some practical tools to use when confronting unresolved issues, assessing past mistakes and looking for a new way forward are to:
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Practice Self-Compassion
- Do not judge yourself harshly for past mistakes and choices. You did the best you could at the time with the awareness you had. Forgive yourself and show kindness.
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Challenge negative thoughts
- Notice negative thoughts about your past and try to have a more balanced perspective. The past cannot be changed, but future choices can influence it.
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Find meaning and purpose rather than judgment
- Try to find the lessons and meaning in your past experiences. How did they shape who you are today? How did past hardships make you who you are today?
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Seek professional guidance and support throughout your journey
- Trained and Specialized therapists can offer new perspectives and work with you to develop a game plan for your new direction.
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The goal is to look forward toward the future while only reflecting on the past, not judging it
- Envision the life you want to build from now on. Set new goals and priorities to shift your focus forward. The past has already happened, but the future is unwritten, and you have the power to make the choices to influence it in the direction you envision.
Therapy in Atlanta, GA
While self-help strategies can be helpful for some on their own, for many, the guidance of therapy is critical to working through past experiences in a healthy way.
At Atlanta Specialized Care, our therapists are trained to help with confronting unresolved issues through counseling and therapy tailored to unique needs. We walk alongside our clients as they peel back painful layers of their life experiences to find deeper meaning and wisdom.
Contact us at (678) 679-6959 to schedule an appointment. Midlife is a natural time of reflection; however, you don’t have to go through it alone.
